


I Can't Be Him

by haehaela



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Draco cheats on Astoria, Harry cheats on Ginny, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Married Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Not Epilogue Compliant, and ginny doesn't deserve the bash, because ginny deserves the best, draco and harry cheat on their wives, ginny deserves better, ginny deserves to be a human being, ginny grew up, ginny is a mother and has feelings, ginny weasley queen, im venting, pre-devorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:41:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27362161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haehaela/pseuds/haehaela
Summary: Harry fucks up his marriage and Ginny is allowed to have feelings
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	I Can't Be Him

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> Quick disclaimer; I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS  
> The only thing I own is the story. Also, this is out of character. Also also, wrote this while I was caffeine drunk at 3am so I am so sorry if the grammar hurts. English isn't my first language! xD
> 
> Enjoy!

Harry fucked up. He fucked up BIG TIME.

He knew it was the last time for him to ever fuck anything up with Ginny because the house was unusually quiet. She must have already sent the kids to sleep. Otherwise, Lily and Al would be heard ~~screeching~~ playing even from outside the house. Tonight, there was nothing. Only the crickets, the occasional rumble from their neighbors and vehicles passing by.

He entered the house and crept up to the second floor. He took his time visiting his kids, giving each of them forehead kisses, wishing them good dreams.

Then, as if he was back on _that day_ , trudging up to the forbidden forest without assurance that he would ever live to see the next sunrise, he slowly went towards the familiar white door, behind which he knew was his wife, his lovely wife, Ginny. Possibly upset, but he knew it was more than that. Ginny upset meant noise. But the house was quiet, the kids were put to bed too early. He felt that creeping feeling of dread. Except this time, his marriage, his safety net, Ginny, was on the line.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he put his hand to the door knob, twisted it and was met with his worst fear.

Ginny was in the room. Sweet, fiery, strong Ginny. His Ginny. But instead of being sprawled asleep on their mattress, she was perched on the edge, a pile of clothes on one side, and a suitcase half-filled with clothes on the floor.

"Ginny", he breathed out.

Said girl looked up. Perhaps, too preoccupied with her thoughts to notice the newcomer, but smiled nevertheless. Welcoming, though blue. 

"Harry", she greeted, before returning to her task.

The clothes on the pile, Harry noted, were hers. Solely hers. None of the jumpers or shirts she had stolen from him. 

"Are you...leaving?", he asked, closing the door behind him and casting a muffliato and locking charm as a necessary precaution for anything that might happen in the next minute of their conversation.

Ginny gave a swift nod, placing three or four rolled up shirts into the case.

"Why?", it came out as a whisper.

Harry was scared. He knew what he did was bad, and was probably the last of the bad deeds he'd do to Ginny. He had so many chances before. Chances Ginny gave because she understood. She always understood. She understood his fear of being taken over by an evil man and causing harm to the people he loved. She understood why he needed her to be as far away from him as possible during the war. She understood things were bigger than their teenage romance and there were more things at stake than just them. She understood the times he was confused and needed space to grow as himself. She was always willing to wait. Always willing to set aside her needs to accommodate him.

Even after the war, she wanted him to have the upper hand. To think for himself, what he wants, if he wants her and all that would come, all that he would lose if he chose her.

Yet he did.

And he took everything for granted.

So, here they are.

Three children asleep in their respective rooms and Ginny, once again, was the adult, understanding where she stands in this ordeal and making it known that she's had enough.

Harry thinks she deserves better. _She does._

"I never wanted to make you choose", she spoke, her hands slowing down to idly fold the her clothes, " I asked you if you wanted _this"_ , she gestured to her, the room, their _lives_ , "if you were _sure_... and you said you were so I went along"

There was a pause as Ginny began gathering her thoughts, forcing herself to remain calm. She was an adult, for merlin's sake, she should be able to make a simple conversation work. So, she took a deep breath, calming herself, clearing her mind before speaking again.

"I can't give you what Draco can, Harry", she said, Harry noticed the way her hands began trembling, " but _this_ ", a pause," is all I can manage "

She looks up and Harry's hands curled to a fist upon seeing the glaze of tears on her warm, hazel eyes.

"I was starting to believe you really had chosen me, you made up your mind about what you want and I thought, we've already come this far, we already have children, a house of our own, a marriage, for merlin's sake, why do I keep doubting him?", a scoff, more to herself than to Harry's incompetence, " I thought you chose... and I asked you... from the very beginning, I told you not to settle for me because you thought I was the safest choice."

She tilted her head up, rapidly blinking, forcing her tears down.

"but I'm a human being, too", she spoke after a while, "I've always felt like I never did enough for you, that it took you until I started dating Dean to even notice me. It took you years, and only when I was off the market to notice I'm worthy of your attention and I don't blame you for it"

Her voice trembled. Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off when Ginny continued.

"But I was a fool, too. I've loved you for so long Harry. I've watched you pine after Cho, heard you gush about your first kiss with Cho, even Moaning Myrtle, a goddarn ghost could do better than me. I should have read the signs and moved on but I didn't because at the one time I thought I could, you decided you wanted me"

Harry felt like he couldn't breathe. He was frozen, his mind was blank and even if he tried, he knew there was nothing he could say that would make any of this better.

"I'm not someone you can just settle for..."

"I've watched you drift away from the children. Teddy says you don't hang out with him anymore. I've had to keep consoling James that you were just busy with a new case whenever you promised to play quidditch with him but never made it, Albus is shy around you when you literally live here and Lily...", a pause, "Have you ever even held Lily at all?"

A pregnant silence took over the room. Harry didn't think the muffliato was necessary. There was no screaming tonight but the words, though whispered in the dark of the night, to be lost in the wind, sliced his heart and soul to pieces.

"I've known, you know...", Ginny starts again, this time, her voice was but a fragile whisper, " Did you even know I visit Astoria often? That I knew it was safe to visit and have girl talks with Astoria, in the home she shares with _her husband_ , because I knew _he wouldn't be there_?"

"I thought it was all a coincidence. For all the time I visit, I never see Draco _anywhere_. Until Astoria pointed out that he'd been spending less time at home for almost a year now, but that he had been frequently absent only since the beginning of the year. It doesn't take a Hermione to put two and two together"

She let out a dry laugh, at herself, at their situation, and began folding her clothes and placing them into the magically extended case.

Harry winced at the sound, knowing Ginny was more blaming herself than pinning the fault on him.

" I can't give you what you want, Harry", she pauses and catches Harry's gaze, " I can't be Draco Malfoy"

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
